Conversation with Clown #1

Me: Mr. Clown, why do you scare children so much? My theory is that your overly exaggerated expressions and antics overstimulate introverted kids, and in turn, they become stressed out and begin to cry. But since I am not a clown by profession, and you are, would you be so kind as to explain to me what you think is a likely reason?

Clown: I can't speak for all clowns, but the kids I work with usually only start crying when I pull their little pants off and start to rape them.

Me: ... *walks away slowly*