Conversation with Death #2

Me: I loved you in Family Guy, Death.

Death: That was Norm MacDonald, you idiot. And a cartoon, to boot.

Me: Oh. Meet Joe Black?

Death: ...Brad Pitt. I'll take that as a compliment. Now scram.

Conversation With Fundamentalist Christian Youth

FCY: *Runs Up* HEY!!! You seem like a cool guy! You should totally join our bible study group this Saturday!

Me: *Feigned Interest* HEYYYY.... No. That's my drinking day. *Walks Off*

Conversation with Death #1

Me: Hey Death. Is my my time already?

Death: No. *Walks away*

Me: Whew! *Continues unhealthy lifestyle*

Conversation with Life #3

Life: What's up, man?

Me: Oh, you know, the usual. The job suc....

Life: You know what? Let me stop you there. I don't give a flying shit. *walks away*

Me: Aww.